Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
