My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
