RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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