By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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