i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
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I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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