Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
