nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
