I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
