I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize