How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
