She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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