pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
