Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
