Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize