i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
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You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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