Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Randomize
