i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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