have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
someone owes me an orgasm
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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