It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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