Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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