I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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