He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
