for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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