Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
two words...techno handjob
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
