Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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