his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
