I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize