My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
only if we run a train.
done.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
