ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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