Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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