And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize