the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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