You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
