i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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