Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
