Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
