Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize