Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Where are you guys?
Drunk
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
