so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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