How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
