kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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