Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
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