he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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