I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize