my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
