Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
