..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
