she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
COCAINE IS GR8
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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