Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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