Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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