ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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