I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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