Grow some girl-balls and come out already
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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