Texts From Last Night

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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  The worlds most fuckable chipmunk

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  (862): The worlds most fuckable chipmunk http://tfl.nu/klow
  Replies (6) Good night (1110) Bad night (736)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  after a month anything with tits is on the radar

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  (832): after a month anything with tits is on the radar http://tfl.nu/wbqo
  Replies (12) Good night (873) Bad night (3576)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.

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  (504): You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil. http://tfl.nu/478n
  Replies (28) Good night (704) Bad night (6178)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons

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  (720): we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons http://tfl.nu/079e
  Replies (4) Good night (4845) Bad night (582)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.

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  (515): The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle. http://tfl.nu/73sv
  Replies (4) Good night (701) Bad night (2159)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis

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  (414): I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis http://tfl.nu/ml6e
  Replies (6) Good night (969) Bad night (3217)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.

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  (360): And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that. http://tfl.nu/r3iu
  Replies (6) Good night (2739) Bad night (879)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.

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  (816): Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing. http://tfl.nu/pnzr
  Replies (1) Good night (1800) Bad night (612)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.

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  (770): She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking. http://tfl.nu/77kz
  Replies (9) Good night (3057) Bad night (688)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.

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  (763): she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick. http://tfl.nu/by59
  Replies (5) Good night (637) Bad night (1289)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  I am lonely and I want to touch your beard

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  (917): I am lonely and I want to touch your beard http://tfl.nu/xi4z
  Replies (8) Good night (1636) Bad night (602)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Jake bring pizza.

  (775): View more from Nevada

  JAKE BRING PIZZA.

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  (775): Jake bring pizza. (775): JAKE BRING PIZZA. http://tfl.nu/e6ij
  Replies (6) Good night (1850) Bad night (469)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something

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  (601): She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something http://tfl.nu/xegg
  Replies (5) Good night (868) Bad night (361)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.

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  (937): Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level. http://tfl.nu/b08m
  Replies (6) Good night (804) Bad night (260)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.

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  (503): When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick. http://tfl.nu/61vn
  Replies (2) Good night (689) Bad night (265)

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