my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
