I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Shame - the story of my life.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
