alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
