I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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