Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Having a random hookup so left but love u
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
