His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
