i think my tv is drunk
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
