If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
