I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
