Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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