It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
