Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
