Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize