I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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