I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Randomize
