we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
