something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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