That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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